0

How to Craft the Most Perfect Pizza According to My Boyfriend

I recently was making homemade pizza with my family in Maine. No big deal, right? Well, my boyfriend Facetimed me as we were finishing our little creations, and started getting really serious, asking relentlessly about the crust, consistency of sauce, and even the type of toppings we chose.

He divulged that he worked at a pizza shop in high school for 3 years, where he honed his pizza making skills and more importantly, his love for concocting the perfect pizza. I could tell as his voice was quivering with joy and some drool began to form, that he was more than just a connoisseur. He was a full blown pizza extremist*, and today he’s sharing his secrets with us to craft the most delectable Italian-inspired dish topped with cheesy, tomatoey goodness. Read on…

Tip #1: If you’re not using self rising flour, you’re not in the game

Tip #2: The dough is the most important part, then the sauce.

Tip #3: The sauce has to have a strong consistency.

*”The best pizza in the world is Naples, Italy. I only had two days in Italy and I took a train all the way to Naples and walked through several back alleys to go to a pizza shop. I was first in line to get seated.” – Michael



Anyways, Mike’s invasive questions about our pizza party made me laugh, and I hope you were able to find some humor in it too. Although his tips aren’t too profound, I’m just going off of a few texts from him before his phone died. So as soon as his battery is back up, I’ll ask more strategic questions to get to the bottom of what it really takes to make a pizza truly special.

Here’s my brother’s recipe…I hope you enjoy. It was amazing!!

Garlic Butter Recipe:

Fresh Garlic, at least 2 entire Bulbs (3 for stronger flavor)
1 stick (8 T) softened salted butter (e.g. Kerrygold)
1T olive oil
(Seasoning amounts are estimated. I add them to taste, feel free to do the same.)
-1 1/2t Paprika
-1 1/2t Italian herb mix
-1/2t Oregano (optional)
-1/2t Parsley (optional)
-Pepper to taste
-1t Lemon juice (optional)

Prepare in small electric food processor / chopper.

Soften butter at room temperature before mixing for best results.
Peel garlic cloves then chop in food processor.
Add oil, seasonings, and half of the butter to processor and mix thoroughly.
Add remaining butter and keep mixing until you have a smooth, uniform spread.
Store in refrigerator or freezer.

—-

Pizza Dough Recipe:

Yields 4 12″ pizza crusts (~250g each)
625g bread flour (e.g. King Arthur brand)
356g water
3-4g salt
12g sugar and/or honey (e.g. 8g honey, 4g sugar)
31g olive oil
1 small pinch Active Dry Yeast (e.g. Fleischmanns brand)

At least 1 day before cooking, prepare in large covered bowl or pot with lid (e.g. stainless steel). Rising dough triples in size!
These instructions are for mixing by hand.

Start with a poolish, which is a wet fermentation of flour, water, and yeast. It adds flavor and texture to the dough.
Poolish:
Add 300g water, 300g flour, and yeast* to bowl.
*Very little yeast is required, and too much can result in over-rising dough.
Mix thoroughly with spoon, 1-2 minutes. Scrape remainder stuck to spoon back into bowl.
Cover bowl and let sit at room temperature at least 8 hours.
Dough:
Add to bowl: remaining water (56g), 100g flour, and all other ingredients (salt, sugar, oil).
Mix with spoon until poolish loosens and mixes with everything else, about 1-2 minutes.
Add remainder of flour (225g) in batches of 75-100g at a time, mixing with spoon between batches.
When dough is too thick to mix with spoon, add all remaining flour and thoroughly mix by hand, about 15-20 minutes.
Keep stretching and folding the dough on top of itself (but do not tear) when mixing.
Dough may be sticky, but try to mix as much as possible, adding 1-3T extra flour only as necessary.
Form into ball, place in covered bowl, and let sit at room temperature overnight (or 1-3 days in fridge) before cooking.
Pizza crust:
Spread thin layer of flour (1-2T) on aluminum foil or countertop.
Tear dough into 4 250g dough balls (for 12″ pizza crusts) and place them on floured surface.
Cover dough balls with flour, and with dry hands, gently flatten and spread them into round crusts. Add more flour if dough becomes tacky.
Cook on lightly greased aluminum foil (12″ square sheets) in 460 degree oven, preferably on a preheated cast iron pan or pizza stone.

❤ Bethany

 

2

Match.com is Shocked by this Guy’s Crazy “About Me” Intro

So, I may be a little biased, because I think my brother is the coolest guy in the world. But I think you’ll end up in my same biased boat after you surf through this amazing piece of writing he composed.

My brother’s friend (anonymous) is a great guy. He has wanted to meet a great girl for quite awhile. So, he decided to join Match.com. But the infamous “about me” intro wouldn’t write itself. He took a stab at it, but it wasn’t quite right. It was just like all the other intros out there: trying to use catchy words to describe himself, somehow trying to sum up his awesomeness in just a few sentences.

Enter: brother.

Please read on to find the most interesing, crazy, unconventional Match.com profile intro ever written. (At least I think so.)

What the friend first wrote:

Insert cool profile intro here.

What my brother wrote:

When I was a small boy I became lost in the pines.  I went hunting for snails, skipping along a disheveled rock path away from the safety and warmth of my campsite.  In my youthful haste, I stumbled over a rotted log shaped like Italy (or maybe Argentina, I do not have great memory for log shapes any more these days).  This country-shaped log exaggerated my youthful forward momentum and dashed me headlong against the stones.  I could not bring my hands up quick enough.  The blood was instantaneous.  Where was it coming from?  It did not matter, all was grey, then black…

I awoke in an eyrie.  Mother, as I came to know her, was looking at me mawkishly.  I am certain, as I reflect back on things, that she thought I would die before I learned to fly.  But she did not give up on me.  Mother was an eagle.  Not in the figurative sense.  She picked me off the rocks like so much dead carrion, but when she saw I still had life in me she took me as her own.  Her strange featherless boy.  The years passed.  I will spare you the details.  My brothers and sisters grew large and took to the heavens.  I remained in the nest.  I was sure I would die on that cliff face, 1400 meters above wherever.  Mother became ill.  She could no longer forage for grubs and field mice.  I became emaciated and withered alongside Mother.  I awoke one morning with the wind blowing a gale unlike any before (the wind on that cliff always blew, was my constant friend, telling me stories and laughing as it tore through the cliff scrub and rock crags).  The wind spoke to me again that day.  It said “you must take flight, your Mother is dying, and you must take flight.”  I looked to Mother and saw she was crying.  I stood up and placed my foot over the edge of the nest onto the lip of the cliff, I took a deep breath, then another, tilted my head heavenward to feel the brilliant sun on my face, spread my arms, and leapt…     

And then I flew to Reno, and I’d really like to meet a nice girl so I hope you are her.  Let’s fly together, huh?  Sounds like fun.

What do you think? Would you date a guy with this story as his profile intro? 🙂

0

5 Oddly Aged Mailboxes Resembling Disney Characters & Famous People

Today, I decided to go on a little walk in Newport Beach, Orange County and stumbled upon a ritzy neighborhood. (Not hard to do in Newport.) To my surprise, I found several, somewhat out of place, weathered mailboxes that really caught my eye. They’re all really cute – so cute in fact that I decided to name them – after what other than Disney Characters and famous people! 

Check ’em out:

1. Dopey – Underestimated in charm but has a major cute factor going for him. 

2. The 3 Stooges – Comedy, just pure comedy.    

3. Anastasia, Drizella, and the Stepmom – Almost pretty, until you get close up and realize they’re as big a mess on the outside as the inside.

4. Charlie’s Angels – Major stare down. Obviously ready to kick butt.  mailboxes orange county

5. Nsync – Aligned, poised, in unison…I can almost hear them singing Bye Bye Bye. Starting from the left we have Justin, JC, Lance, Joey, and ….some unknown member.  
Hope you had fun reading! Do you have a better name for these melodramatic mailboxes? Comment below with your ideas!! 😉